I haven't solved that mystery completely, but I am going to throw out one thing I think is key: society. Yes, I said it. Yes, it's cliched.Yes, I still think there is some truth there. And no, I am not trying to find a scape goat for why I can't stop eating sweets. Ha, ha!
Our culture places so much emphasis on appearance and looks, that sometimes it is hard not to get completely consumed by it. We associate our worth as a person with what we look like. Our physical attributes become enmeshed with, and inseparable from, our own sense of self worth. It's an unfortunate, and costly, mistake to confuse the two as interchangeable.
By placing so much importance on outward appearance, we sadly overlook the things that truly define a person: intelligence, a caring heart, personality, opinions, talents, beliefs, morals, creativity, and all the other little things that combine to make each of us unique. It is even sadder when we focus on what we think (strong emphasis on think) is wrong with our own physical appearance. We define ourselves by the digits on our bathroom scales, the number on the tag of our jeans, or one feature or another that we don't think is "good enough."
One example of this is Heidi Montag. Some of you may not really know who she is, and those of you that do are probably tired of hearing about her recent surgical endeavors. Well, too bad. I'm going to say a word about them here anyway. Keep in mind, this girl is 23 years old; she is 6 months younger than I am.
Did you catch that? How 'bout one more time?
According to FamousPlastic.com, here is a list of surgeries she has undergone so far (remember, she is only 23!):
-Nose job
-Breast augmentation
-Lip injections
- Brow lift
- Botox
- Nose job #2
- Fat injections in the face
- Chin reduction
- Liposuction of the neck
- Liposuction on the waist
- Liposuction on the hips
- Liposuction on the thighs
- Ears pinned back
- Breast augmentation #2
- Butt augmentation
To me, this is sad testament to how we choose assign value ourselves and each other. Heidi Montag was quoted as saying, "I just wanted to feel more confident and look in the mirror and be like, 'Whoa! That's me!' I was an ugly duckling before." Maybe it's just me, but the girl in the before pictures does not look like "an ugly duckling."
Of course, thanks to free agency, everyone can make their own decisions... and plastic surgery was hers. I just can't help but think how outside influences may have made her feel like what she looked like wasn't good enough. How hard would that be, to not like who you are based on something that matters so little in the long run?
It may be difficult to separate ourselves from this cultural mindset of physical beauty above all else (I know that I struggle with it), but I would hope that we would all try to see ourselves for who we really are. Not our flesh and bone structure and extra fat, but our hearts and souls and minds that truly define us and give us endless possibilities to succeed and excel!
Okay. Deep breath. I know that was a lot to read from the soapbox at one time. I am aware that I tend to run on and on with these kinds of posts. I'm not trying to be preachy; I just feel so strongly about some things. If you don't love me for my ramblings, please forgive them; I honestly can't help myself. Ha, ha!
P.S. On a more positive note, Jessica Simpson has a show coming out of Vh1 about what is beautiful in different countries and cultures. I think it could be really interesting to see what is considered attractive in the world outside our own cultural perspective. Check out this article and the video below!
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15 l'il comments:
Just wanted to add a thank you to my friends Hannah and Jessica who inspired me to post this. You two are great examples to me of what inner and outer beauty really is!
Guuurrrrllll! Send that into Cosmo and let them see what they do to people!
You need to be a writer...just sayin'.
My weight has been a problem my whole life and you and I have both been a scary place. So, just know that I adore your face and think you're perfect and I am jealous of you! :)
Katie a.k.a. Evil Chinchilla
Sorry *In a scary place....you are not a scary place...I assume Ben would call you a wonderland!
I don't know... sometimes I might be a scary place... Ha, ha! I love your guts, my little Evil Chinchilla friend! Jealous of me? That's funny... I was always jealous of you! I've always thought you are amazingly gorgeous, but more importantly, you are one of the most wonderful people I know and one of my dearest friends! ^_^
ugh! that is so sad about heidi! i think she looks repulsively scary now!
i'm having issues with my weight now too.
thanks for reminding everyone what's REALLY important. :)
KUDOS!!!
I think there is something to the celebrity "size 4 is fat" and "the screen adds 10 pounds" about our obsession with thinness, but I also think that lean bodies are healthier bodies (please note - by thin I do not mean anorexic models/actresses). We are genetically/culturally programmed to find certain features in others attractive, e.g. symmetrical facial features, tallness (in men in particular), big breasts (in women) - all of which are outward signs of "fitness" - the ability to reproduce effectively. I certainly understand "in my mind" that a morbidly obese person can be intelligent or an expert on a topic, but I instinctively turn away and probably "automatically" discount whatever they have to say (being brutally honest here), because I think that the medium is the message.
No one puts up a messy blog page or web site.
We carefully craft a web page to be easy to navigate and pleasing to our viewers, right? We navigate away from and don't re-visit web pages and blogs that seem unattractive or "ugly", right?
Same with people. There are mountains of research that shows that people "automatically" trust or like people who are thin, tall, tanned (for Caucasians), light-skinned (for black people), well-muscled. The taller, thinned, well-proportioned get better jobs and make more money in our society.
We can argue all we want about societal stereotypes, but we all have to admit we would rather look at Heidi Montana than Kelly Osbourne, no matter than Kelly might have more to bring to the conversation.
Stop feeling guilty. You have control over how you look (to some extent). If you want to look healthy and vibrant (for a vacation or just in general), get fit and lose weight.
And Heidi does "look better" after the work - before she looked anemic - after she looks healthy and full.
I have also struggled with my weight, but I will not accept excuses.
I say I have struggled, but that is not the actual truth. I have not worked out and have eaten too much, therefore, I have gained weight. I haven't actually struggled (unless you can call deciding between McDonald's or Pizza a struggle).
My weight is a direct result of what I take in versus what I burn off. If I eat high-calorie/high-fat foods and do not exercise, I will be fat. So will you.
Our bodies were designed to live on a subsistence diet - if we eat huge quantities of calories and don't burn them off, we will be fat.
I do not agree that obesity automatically means one is unhealthy - there are plenty of healthy "large" people out there. But I do agree that thinner people are more attractive - but not emaciated thin people. What Heidi did was to increase her fat in the "right" places - her cheeks and lips and breasts are fuller - she looks like a real woman (albeit, Hollywood's version of same).
Dear Samantha McCormick, CNM
I'm just curious as to how Heidi Montag did not look like a "real woman" before her plastic surgery? If anything, she now looks like a fake caricature of her former self.
I hate it when thin women with smaller breasts are referred to as not real.
And then....I just got done posting Day 2 of my self tanning experiment. Hahaha. Ironic, really. This was a good soapbox ;)
living in a different culture than the western world where I grew up, really puts things in perspective. I remember being shocked when, after gaining a few kilos, a guy said Cameroon was really becoming me.
Now, after three years of Africa, skinnyness doesn't bother me all that much any more. I'm more concerned about being healthy. It really changes a person to see normal weight people as models in catalogs, and I have to say, the clothes look so much better on them
I think Heidi Montag was much prettier before all the surgeries.
I really appreciate this post, and I'm very excited for Jessica Simpson's new show! I am not a huge fan of hers, but I think that's amazing!
Beautiful post.
Brittney, I have always thought you were one of the most beautiful women I knew. Just letting ya know!
I really appreciate all your comments!
To Samantha, I agree that we do need to take care of our bodies. We only get one after all! I just find it sad that a persons VALUE is often determined by how they look.
I'm not saying that I don't make snap judgments based on appearance sometimes. I wish I could say that I don't. I can say that I try my darnedest not to automatically discount someone as a person because of what they look like, but I think it's only human to pass judgment every so often, as unfortunate as that is.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel good about the way you look (I use that self-tanner, too, Nikki ^_^), I am just sad that so many people drastically change their appearance just to appeal to the people around them.
Brit, I just love you and you are gorgeous. I am ashamed to say that it has taken me forever to find this blog because I've been looking at your other family one!
I miss you and your cute, hilarious personality.
That's okay, Jess! I follow and LOVE your blog! This one definitely pales in comparison. ^_^ I miss you, too. The days at Classy Chassis seem too long ago...
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